The Homeless Executive Director

Remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? It's a staple in any Intro to Psych class. Most of us probably forgot the theory almost as quickly as we learned it.

The past couple of months I have been reminded of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in a much more vivid way than ever before. The following experience taught me about our women and the struggles they face, and it taught me about myself. Maybe there’s a lesson here for all of us. Let me explain …

The past two months I have been essentially homeless. I had nowhere that I belonged, no place where I could put all of my things, no space that I could call my own. Now before you begin to feel sorry for me, I need to explain that I chose this homelessness. You see, this past year I chose to housesit for some friends who are traveling for a year. For most of the year, I live in a very nice home for very little cost. The catch was that the friends would be back for a month at Christmas, and I would have to move out then.

When I signed on for this deal, I thought moving out at Christmas would be no big deal. I definitely underestimated the emotional impact of transient living. I spent a weekend boxing things up, putting some things in storage and deciding which of my precious clothes and belongings I needed direct access to for the next month. After a very tiring weekend, I was all set and moved into the home of some friends who have kids.

After ten days of living with this gracious family, I selected even fewer clothes and belongings to pack into suitcases for a trip home to Ohio to visit family and friends. I packed up and moved five different times in ten days, all the while living out of suitcases. Then upon my return to Colorado, I moved in with a single friend for a couple of weeks.

I was very glad to have such generous and loving friends to take me in, but I could also tell that the constant moving was starting to wear on me. I was tired of always feeling like a guest in someone else’s home. I was so looking forward to January 15th, the date I was supposed to move back home. The date I could have all of my “stuff” in one place. The date I could unpack and just be.

While I was weary of the packing and unpacking, all in all things were going well until I got the phone call that my house-sitting friends had an unexpected delay. They would be staying at least an extra two weeks, possibly much more. All of a sudden, I felt homeless. I felt this incredible sense of powerlessness that came from knowing that I could not provide for my own needs. My friends had agreed to take me in for a designated period of time. This was a sacrifice for them, an intrusion into their routines. What if they were as tired of having a house guest as I was weary of being a house guest? What if this unexpected delay lasted a few months? The uncertainty was unnerving. I felt like I was at the mercy of others, and my stability and basic needs were dependent upon them.

That’s when it struck me… Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow theorized that our needs are hierarchical, that some needs take precedence over other needs and if these lower, more basic needs were not met, then one could not focus on the higher needs like self-esteem and self actualization. The most basic level of needs is the physiologic level. This is the level of air, food, water, and shelter. I had come face to face with the most basic need of all and could not provide it for myself without depending upon the benevolence of others. That is a horribly vulnerable feeling.

I had a very small taste of what our women go through, and I didn’t like it. Instantly, their desperate behaviors made more sense to me. Giving in to the whims of men who were abusive in exchange for a place to stay… Selling their bodies as payment for rent… Returning to the same bad relationships time after time… It all made more sense to me now. How could I expect them to focus on things like setting boundaries in relationships, improving their coping skills, pursuing education and life goals when they feel like they are at the mercy of others with no means to provide for their own stability? How could I expect them to begin to leave the negative relationships that surround them when they feel dependent upon these relationships just to survive? They cannot possibly focus on purpose and realizing their inner potential (Maslow’s second highest tier) when they have no way of meeting their foundational need for shelter. Without having their most basic need for shelter adequately met, they are vulnerable to a wide variety of horrors that most of us cannot understand.

So the next time you think about our women and wonder, “Why don’t they just _________?” Imagine having to depend upon others for your most basic needs while your personal experience has been one of abuse, betrayal, and broken trust from an early age. I think maybe then our questions will turn from “Why don’t they just __________?” to “What can I do to help them find stability and dependable relationships so that they can begin to grow and develop into the precious women God created them to be?”

Street's Hope is committed to helping our women find that stability by providing a safe place for them to live, a place for them to feel safe and at home so that they can begin to work on the higher levels of development. The Street's Hope transitional living house is essential to being able to provide this first step of stability for our women. We are in the final stages of rehabbing the house, and we need your help!

If you find yourself asking, “What can I do?” there are several ways to become involved with the ministry of Street's Hope. As indicated above, the total cost to rehab our transitional living house so that we meet the codes of the City of Lakewood is significantly higher than we anticipated. Would you consider giving to our construction fund? In addition, while we have been rehabbing the house, our general operating budget has been stretched as well. Would you consider giving to our operational budget? In addition, we would love to have you volunteer with us. We need construction workers, office help, people to prepare Monday night meals, mentors for our women… There are a variety of ways to get involved. Please come and serve with us.

Sincerely,

Karen Allen

The “Now Safe at Home” Executive Director

Contact Information

email: karen@streetshope.org

work: 303-433-2712

cell: 720-629-3623